If you are familiar with physics or learned it in school you were taught the three laws that Sir Isaac Newton defined how we understood mechanics, motion and our physical reality. Newton’s Three Laws of Motion are: 

1. An object in motion will stay in motion and an object at rest will stay at rest unless acted upon by an outside force. 
2. Force equals mass times acceleration.
3. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Now as far as I know, Newton didn’t discuss relationships in the same breath as physics, so of course there technically are no laws of relationships from Newton. However, I believe these laws translate extremely well to a healthy and successful relationship. There are truths within physics that can propel your relationship into abundance when you look deeper. That said, these three laws hinge on a major truth, marriage and relationships require commitment which transcends love and emotion.

Law One: A relationship in motion will stay in motion and a relationship at rest will stay at rest unless acted upon by an outside force. 

Let’s start with the first law and change the word “object” to relationship, doing so reveals an interesting truth. It would read, a relationship in motion will stay in motion and a relationship at rest will stay at rest unless acted upon by an outside force. The truth uncovered there cannot be understated. Consider this, as a couple are you both headed toward the same goal or similar vision? Relationships with no intended purpose or goal that the couple agrees upon means they are at rest and not in motion. Which will ultimately lead to stagnation and then it will require a some type of outside force to act upon it to get it moving again. 

Time and time again we see that relationships do not last based solely on the idea of loving one another. Feelings fade and purpose remains. The sustainability of a relationship correlates with the couple being in motion together. Truly, there must be purpose to the two becoming one or on the path toward becoming one, otherwise there is no foundational or transcendent reason to maintain the relationship long term. Logically speaking then, knowing where the couple should go means each individual should have an understanding of where they are headed as well. 

This caveat could be considered one of the main reasons why we have a high divorce rate even higher in relationship splitting rates. Individuals are getting married before they themselves understand personal direction. Which can be a result of the current society norm condoneing a position that abstains responsibility until later years anyways. Responsibility will almost always produce a need to be grounded in purpose. Making the move to become independent from parents or environment encourages an individual to search for the meaning of their independence. Once that revelation comes the realization that two is better than one also emerges. Through this awareness you search for a partner that shares the desire to accomplish a similar purpose. Now, this doesn’t always happen in this order and it doesn’t mean one should refrain from getting married or into a relationship without it, it merely means it will produce more positive results.  

The “object” of you desires to stay in motion in the direction you have chosen, joining in a relationship where the “object” of your significant other is counter to your direction, explained in later laws will inherently produce stagnation as well. That said, if as a whole the couple starts the relationship at rest, it has short term written all over it. 

Law Two: Relationship Strength equals The Couple times The Purpose (S=CxP)

Moving to the second law, which in physics is an equation where you plug variables in for the purpose of understanding a particular aspect of motion, the same can be applied to relationships. As a reminder the equation is: force equals mass times acceleration. Now, the important variable in the equation acceleration, defined simply as speed, in the context of a relationship I would argue can be replaced with purpose. So, if we insert the claim that a relationship at rest will stay at rest the input of the properties could be as follows.

A couple with no purpose in which they are moving towards together, would mean that their acceleration, or purpose, is zero. So the force, defined simply as strength, of the relationship equals the mass, or the couple, times zero. In math, zero times anything amounts to zero. Therefore, the strength of the couple comes out to a whopping zero. 

Conversely, let’s say the purpose of the couple they agree to is raising a healthy family. Plugging the variables into the relationship equation we will see that the strength of the couple equals a double acceleration toward a healthy family. Ultimately, this makes the case for the value of relationships because if a desire and purpose of an individual is to accomplish anything in life the acceleration doubles within a healthy relationship. 

But life and relationships are not easy, so when an outside force interacts with the couple will the strength of the relationship withstand the outside force? Digging a bit deeper into the science behind Newton’s laws, one of the reasons the first law remained a theory was because being able to experiment to prove the theory was difficult. The culprit, friction. Friction relationally means we experience conflicts that can slow down the acceleration toward purpose. The healthier the relationship the smoother the ability to overcome friction. Escaping friction does not happen and cannot happen because, like physics, it requires a perfect environment which we do not live in. Therefore, being able to overcome friction within the relationship will also attribute to a stronger couple.

Law Three: For every interaction there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Finally, moving to the third law with regards to actions. If we insert our interactions, or ways of communication toward one another within the couple, to this law it makes more sense. Contextually, keep in mind this law within physics hinges on the mass of each object. As we determined earlier, mass equals the couple so there are two aspects relationally to discuss here. First, the equal “mass” of each individual within the couple interacting with one another, second the total strength of the couple when interacted with by an external force or problem. 

The two parts warrant two examples:

1. Within the couple, if one member acts in love the reaction should be love in return. However, if the couple stands unequally yoked in any way the reaction will not be love equally, perhaps an unequal response of anger. This means working through issues and problems are extremely important and once the issue becomes either resolved or mutually understood the couple returns to the proper equilibrium needed to face the next action to come. Strive to reach an equilibrium where love produces more love.
2. External forces and circumstances will undoubtedly befall the couple. Will the foreign force produce an equal or opposite reaction? This can again be seen as a good or bad thing. If a positive experience transpires the relationship should respond equally positive. Furthermore, if the experience showcases itself as negative will the relationship withstand the interaction?

For example, Leslie and I have experienced miscarriages in our journey to creating a family. As those actions occur toward us do we view the “mass” of that action as equal to our strength as a couple or are we in a position of strength to push against the action? As we work through the emotions and spiritual tension of miscarriages we see the opportunity to draw closer together as a couple instead of separating out of sadness or defeat. 

Three Truths to Hold

All in all, as with science, all of the laws work great in a perfect environment and issues arise when placed into an environment that does not have equilibrium and our world persists as an unequal environment. Regardless, the truths hold fast in that the relationship needs these three things:

1. To be in motion toward a common purpose or goal with the result being exponentially increased because two are better than one.
2. The strength of the marriage comes from a unified couple toward that chief end.
3. Equal partners results in the ability to withstand the frictions of life and with that  strength of partnership love produces more love that can overcome any force attempting to press up against your relationship.

I hope this perspective has blessed your relationship and if you are struggling in any of these areas or need help to achieve any of the things I discussed please feel free to reach out. We at Steps to Significance are here to help.

Be blessed!